Need Counselling?
by sonic-stage
Summary: Looks like all the men of Konoha have been forced into relationship counselling. With a room full of sulky, angsty men with Kakashi as their teacher, this'll be embarrassing...
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. Because my computers down I've decided to make up a story that I can do for fun whenever I'm bored. Whenever I'm not on my computer (which is where all my stories are saved), I can just write up a chapter of thisthing which doesn't follow any kind of storyline. It's just basically a bunch of chapters based on group counselling and stuff. Of course the only couple that interest me are sasu/naru so it'll be mostly them but I'll have the others in there at some point. OH! I'm gonna have what the 'girls' are doing in the mean-time as well lol. Remember that everyone is much older now ok?

NOW READ!

-Session One-

Minutes from last session - none

---

"All right people's" came the familiar voice of the one Hatake Kakashi. Watching everyone sit in their assigned seats he took up the clipboard from beside him and sat down on the only isolated chair in the front of the room. His normal Jounen uniform was tucked away safely at home seeing as he was not currently on a mission, and with the threat of sand gone, missions had been reduced to mostly b and c-rank. Instead he wore his skintight blue turtleneck shirt and his usual carpis.

Crossing one leg over the other the man rested the clipboard on his top leg and started the meeting. "Welcome to Whipped. I'm sure you all know who I am-"

"Is that an acronym or an insult?" came a loud shout from the back of the room.

"Insult." He quickly replied. "Anyway, Welcome to the first meeting of our village's new counsel group. I'm so glad to see that…well everyone I expected to come has made it. Now why don't we go around and introduce ourselves, though I'm sure most of us are already pretty well acquainted. You start first." He said pointing to the person on the farthest left of the room.

"Hello, my name's Lee!" said the consistently energetic man. "Rock Lee and I've been with the love of my life, SAKURA! For two years now!"

Everyone in the room sighed in disgust as hearts began to swirl around his head as they always did when he spoke about the pink haired girl. "I came here today simply because she asked me. She thought our relationship could use some further development and that meant that I had to come here and…well dooooo whatever it is…that…we do."

"…Alright." Said the silver haired man checking the man's name off the list. "Next."

"Shino. Been with Gaara for a year and three months. Came cause he thought it'd be a good idea. So I did it." He said shortly and sat back down.

"Sweet and to the point. Always's a pleasure. Next!"

"Hi my name's Chouji." Said the less plump boy as he chewed on a piece of gum in replacement of his chips. "Been with my girl Ino for four years. I don't really know why she asked me to come here but whatever she thinks will help our relationship."

"Thanks. Anyway. Next!"

"Hello." Said the only girl in the room. "My name's Maki. My girlfriend asked me to come here cause she said she needed me to be more open. We can't go ten minutes without arguing but we love each other and don't want to break up. SO THIS STUPID COUNSELING BETTER WORK!" she shouted angrily while glaring around her.

"…Ahem. ...Thanks for that. Looks like you gave me a good place to start on your part. ANYWAY! Next please."

"Hello everyone. My name is Neji. I have been with my loved one Ten-Ten for three years. I'm here for much the same reason as Miss.Maki…I mean about he open part. Me and her actually get along nicely." Sitting down the Hyuuga crossed his arms and his legs and bent his head down. "This better be worth it." He mumbled.

"Thanks for that. Let's get this moving along. Next."

"Hey, Shikamaru. Been with Temari for whatever years. Didn't particularly feel like arguing about coming here. Arguing's too troublesome for me."

"How surprising." Said the Jounen ticking off another box. "Next."

"My name's Kiba. I've been with Hinata for only nine months...took me a while to get her to be a little less shy. Frankly I think she should be the one in this chair. At any rate. She asked me, I came and now I'm here."

"Thanks. OK now that that's out of the way we're gonna start with the first part of our little agenda for today-"

"Hey Cyclops."

Turning to the source of the insult with a glare the man snapped him a response. "Whaddya want?"

"It seems you've forgotten someone. Well either that or he didn't want to be noticed."

Every body's eyes followed in the direction of the boys pointed finger to see none other than one of the town's most renowned ninja's Sasuke sitting way in the back of the room.

"Sasuke m'boy! Didn't think in a hundred years you'd be here. Pull a chair a little closer up here, I can hardly see you way back there."

The Uchiha raised his head and peered around to everyone who was still staring at him in amusement. His eyes scanned the room for the next couple of moments. Finally he decided to humor the shinobi and took a seat a little bit closer the front.

"Ok. Now mr. It's your turn to introduce yourself. Everybody did it so it's only fair."

The dark haired boy stood up, his arms still crossed from when he was sitting down. "…Name's Sasuke." He said in a low grumpy tone. "I've been with-"

"Hey you're that guy my sister is obsessed with!" shouted Maki. The Uchiha immediately shot her a glare, which was unexpectedly countered with a smirk. "You're with the Hokage. I still remember the day she ran outta the house telling me that her and her group were gonna go camp outside your house until you told them who the mystery girl you were dating was two years ago. Boy did they have it coming to them eh?" The only thing that could be heard now was the hysterical laughing of the girl as she clutched her stomach.

"Shut up." Said Sasuke, this instantly stopping the noise.

"…Sorry."

"Continue please Sasuke." Said Kakashi.

"…I've been with Naruto for two years next week." The man stared at the ground as he spoke, obviously a little less then comfortable with being the center of attention.

"You don't have to be shy about being with a guy or something Sasuke."

The Uchiha shot his head up to glare murderously at the silver haired Jounen. "I'm not." Came a simple reply.

In all honesty, the dark haired boy really wasn't ashamed of anything they had. It had actually been him to pursue the blonde and convince him to stop being shy about their relationship.

"Well stop acting so shy then."

"I'm not shy…He asked me to come here as a favor to him…Pulled that whole, if you love me you'll do it thing."

"Well then I'm sure we can expect full cooperation from you right? Thank you for that. Now let's finally get this thing started. Our first order of business is to discuss our partners. Let's talk about what they are to us and why they haven't dumped us on our asses by now. Anyone wanna start?" Looking around the room Kakashi wasn't surprised to see everyone avoiding his gaze, all except…

"Sasuke why don't you start since you were the last to introduce yourself."

Shrugging the Uchiha stood up once again, this time with a little more comfort. "…Um. Narutoo'sss-a Hokage… uh…we've been living in our new house for a year and a half…he's loud and childish and is short and eats too much I don't deserve him."

"Not bad not bad. On that note, let's move on to why they think we're worth wasting their time on. Sasuke?"

Tilting his head back while he rolled his eyes he flumped it forward again and averted his gaze back to the floor. If there was anything less degrading in the world he hadn't heard of it. "I ask him that everyday."

"And? What does he tell you?"

"…ugh…He says it's because he loves me ok? What else?"

"I see. And what do you personally think the reason is?"

"No clue. Frankly I'd'ave dumped my ass long ago. Maybe he feels sorry for me."

"Amen to that brother." Said Shino from his left.

Checking his watch the silver haired Jounen's eyed widened. "Holy crap time really flew by. That was weird." He said before sitting up. "Sorry people's but I gotta dinner to get to. Thursday we'll be splitting into teams of three and everyone will have their own counselor to speak to them one on one. Just like the academy eh? Alrighty dismissed. Go find your loved ones and try to do something useful for'em."

-Session One Complete-

Well tell me what you think. Next chapter I'm gonna do that three group thing that way I can focus on only three at a time. It's easier for me that way. REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

This was a long forgotten story that I decided to write a little more for. I have no idea why but I was bored. I'm very very slowly working on my other stories but I have a co-op placement now that keeps me out for most of the day so I don't know how much i'll be able to get done.

Anyway

Mean while with the "girls";

The group of 7 (he he! that's just a coincidence, nothing intended.) sat around the large circular table outside their usual coffee and tea spot chatting away. The weather was absolutely perfect that day so Sakura, Ino, Ten-ten, Temari, Hinata, Naruto and even Gaara had all felt kinda crummy for making their lovers spend most of the afternoon in counseling.

Sakura hunched herself over the table with her arm cradling her head. She stirred her vanilla latte, a pout on her face. "Man we should've just sent them next week. This kinda sucks."

"Well it wouldn't have mattered then anyway. They eventually would've had to go right?" answered Ino. She pretended it didn't bother her but everyone knew that her and Chouji hardly spent any time away from each other. In act they were all pretty attached to their loved ones. They had all been together for ten years now except for Gaara who only came whenever he was available, and this was suckier than being separated from a mission in their opinion.

Naruto leant back on his chair and adjusted his white hat. "You're right Sakura. But you know what sucks even more?"

They all looked up from their drinks. "What?" she said.

"BEING STUCK IN THESE FRIGGEN ROBES!" They all rolled their eyes and went back to staring at their drinks. He looked around angrily. "I'm serious man! Why do I have to wear them!? Tsunade never wore these things and now I know why! You'd think they were made of cotton by looking at them but NOOOO! This is some devil material that melts you from the inside! I swear you could survive an ice age quite comfortably in these-" **THUMP!**

Sakura sat back down and crossed her arms as the blonde now lay on his back, clutching his head on the ground. "Gawd Naruto you're gonna go down in history as the whiniest Hokage in the world! There's no law that says you have wear those all the time, just during counsel meetings. So quite it!"

The blonde picket himself up and flumped back into his chair. "Ok, ok but you didn't have to hit so hard." He looked over and Temari who had somewhere along the lines spontaneously fallen asleep and was now leaning on Gaara's shoulder. "Hey you guys could've stayed at the tower, I know you didn't get much sleep from getting here yesterday."

The red headed Hokage didn't looked over at him as he spoke. "You know that makes no difference to me. Temari didn't wanna sleep though, I have no idea why but I recon it has something to do with Nara and maybe wanting to sleep at his house instead."

"EEEW! How can you say things like that and not get all BLEH! She's your sister!"

If he had eyebrows he probably would've narrowed them to emphasis his expression. "I don't get 'bleh' Uzumaki."

Naruto, Ten-ten and Gaara turned to Sakura, Ino and Hinata as they heard them chuckling quietly. Ino was leaning in and almost whispering something to her friends. Both of them were clearly trying not to laugh out loud.

"What are you girls laughing about?"

They all looked over at the three with smiles. "We were just kinda thinking about old times and how funny they were."

"Huh? What exactly were you thinking about?"

Hinata took a sip of her green tea and held the cup in front her formally. "About how we all acted to each other. How I use to have a crush on you and Sasuke's little fan club with Sakura and Ino." She said this completely stutters free, but none of them paid any mind to it. Though she acted like her twelve-year old self in front of new people, she was almost a different person around her friends and family. "Do you remember Naruto, how Sakura and Ino use to fight over Sasuke? I had always thought that was very funny."

He grinned at the thought. "Totally! I loved seeing Sasuke's face when you would latch onto his arm in the morning before training and beg him to go on a date with you!" he sat back in his chair and laughed.

"OH OH!! Do you remember that time you and Sasuke accidentally kissed and we beat the shit outta you!? I was thoroughly amused for the rest of the day after that one." Said Ino.

Ten-ten started laughing as she spoke. "I remember that! I was busy eyeing Neji but I saw it from the corner of my eye and I think I almost spit my drink in his face. I'm glad I didn't though."

"I'm sure he is too."

"I remember the first day Naruto, Sasuke and I got back from our first b-rank mission with Haku and Zabuza " said Sakura. "We came into town and we had no idea why the hell there were so many weird people walk'n around. Then we ran into Lee."

Naruto slapped his palm onto his forehead. "OH YEAH! Gawd that was an episode eh? Him and all his "flame of youth" talk and those mushy looks he kept sending over to you. That was the first time I ever saw Sasuke use his Sharingan though so I guess that was kinda worth it."

"Speaking of that loser, did you ever make up your mind about moving in with him?" asked Gaara.

"No not yet. I actually think the reason he didn't protest about the counseling thing was because he's trying to guilt me into doing it."

Hinata smiled at her almost empty cup. "Wow Naruto I never would've thought something like that of Sasuke. He certainly has changed over the years."

"More than you know," he responded with a smile. "I think everyone's changed drastically over the years. Maybe myself a little less than others."

"HA!" came the short burst of laughter from Sakura. "Oh please Naruto! You've changed more than anyone! You still have a lot of annoying traits like your whininess but take a look at yourself in the mirror one of these days. I'm thinking you'll be pleasantly surprised."

They became silent for a moment until Ino asked, "Hey guys…Did any of you think things would turn out the way they did? I mean like all of us becoming jounen and Naruto becoming Hokage like Gaara. When you really think back to your twelve year old selves, did anyone really see this coming?" She looked around at everyone in deep thought.

"Some things were predictable," said Naruto pointing to his hat.

The blonde girl stared at him for a few moments before she broke out into laugh, Sakura, Hinata and Ten-ten soon joined in. "Oh man Naruto! You could become Hokage of the world but you'd still be our number one loud mouth, most surprising guy!"

His face softened. "Well good, that's just how I want it."

They all pushed their empty cups forward. Naruto glanced at the nearby clock tower. "Well I think their meeting should be done for the day. Why don't we all go meet them and have some dinner?"

Before anyone could reply there was a ghust of wind and Gaara suddely felt a little lighter. "Tenmari?...ooook that sounds like a good idea Naruto. But we should probably hurry incase Nara needs a doctor."

End

I haven't updated this in forever and I had origionally planned on making it rotate between the counsel meeting and the other group. I think i'll stick with that. Hopefully it wont take too long for me to get writing again.


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